You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
