I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
