what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
