I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
