yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize