I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
