Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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