i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
