This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
