No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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