and you said cock pushups were impossible
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.