if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
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Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list