i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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