with your own penis?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
