I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
