The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
