Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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