My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
only you would photoshop your dick
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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