Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just found puke in my bra..
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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