Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
