The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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