apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize