I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize