you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
