and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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