C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
