I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
