wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Can I color on your dick again?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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