So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
