Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize