we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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