life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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