what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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