i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
