I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
