Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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