If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
