I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
