wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
my poor anus
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
