Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she smelled like a LAN party
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
