i need an iv and a liver transplant
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
