What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
