her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
