Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
