somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
