piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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