you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
