Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
