Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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