It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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