therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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