im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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