Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
