Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
