I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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