KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
