Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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