I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
