That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
