Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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