Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
